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Saturday, March 10, 2012

Canadian Classics and the Gritty Reboots I Want Them to Get

I wrote this for my original blog some 7 or 8 years ago, and as Hollywood continues to go nuts for remakes and reboots, I figured it was time to revise it.

Let's be honest, it's not just Hollywood's past that can be mined for old brand names to be dusted off and made new...Hollywood North has a similar array of classics that can be made anew for the next generation.

So here's the classics from my childhood that I want to see dusted off, given gritty reboots, and returned to a theatre near you!

Plot:  Tom and Annie Edison are two teenaged whiz kids who use science to solve mysteries in their sleepy suburb.

Gritty Reboot:  Veronica Mars meets CSI

Plot:  A down-on-his-luck crime reporter tries to be a good dad to his teenage son, while getting embroiled in a love triangle with a sexy crown prosecutor and his estranged wife.  Also, he has psychic abilities which he uses to solve murders.  

Gritty Reboot:  You've got the supernatural elements of Ghost Whisperer, the quirky romance of Ally McBeal, and you tailor it to star Jason Alexander.

Plot:  A comic book obsessed teenager gets hit by a weird ray built by the mad scientist who lives next door and it gives him superpowers.  He uses his new powers to solve mysteries in his neighbourhood while trying to live the life of a typical teenager.  

Gritty Reboot:  Dude, it's just screaming to be the latest Buffy the Vampire Slayer knock-off.   

Plot:  The marine biologist curator of the Vancouver Aquarium heals sick animals, goes on wilderness expeditions, and battles all manner of poachers, smugglers, and eco-terrorists, while being a single dad who raises two teenagers and romances hot bush pilots.  

Gritty Reboot:  Isn't it obvious?  My plot description above perfectly describes the latest Disney family-friendly action/adventure film produced by Jerry Bruckheimer and starring Nicholas Cage.  

Plot:  A stray German Shepard walks the Earth, helping out youngsters and do-gooders in whatever town he ends up in.  Maybe tomorrow, he'll want to settle down.  Until tomorrow, the whole world is his home.  

Gritty Reboot:  Not that gritty, actually.  Make it a cartoon.  Give the littlest hobo a celebrity voice.  Make that "voice that keeps on calling [him]" some kind of metaphysical element that gives him missions and such.  

Plot:  A Mountie with brilliant deductive skills, yet naive in the ways of the big city, gets a posting at the Canadian consulate in Chicago, where he teams up with a sarcastic Chicago PD detective and solves crimes.  

Gritty Reboot:  Movie.  Movie movie movie.  Largely remake the pilot, where we see Fraser (the Mountie) pursues his father's murderer to Chicago.   You'll have to add some of the features from later in the series that eventually became the show's hallmarks, like Fraser being haunted by the ghost of his father.  As for casting, well, back in its heyday, many said Paul Gross would make the perfect Superman, so why not look to a Superman?  I say...Brandon Routh.  

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