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Thursday, December 06, 2018

Fishing in the Discount Bin - Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Here we go again on Fishing in the Discount Bin.  I watch a movie, I blog about it.  Just like that.  Today, I'm watching Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.  This is originally in my notes at September 30, 2018.

Jurassic World was huge nostalgic blast.  Loved it immensely, and came out of the theatre thinking it was the sequel I wanted to Jurassic Park when I first saw in the theatres back in 1993.  So, the question was, what could they do for a sequel, with no more nostalgia left to milk?

Well, the answer was, of course, milk the nostalgia for its sequel The Lost World.  Too bad, though, that there's not a lot of nostalgia for The Lost World

I mean, I started calling it when the first trailers came along.  In the Lost World, our heroes go back to the island to document it as a nature preserve, but the villains show up to start rounding up the dinosaurs for their own nefarious purposes.  And that's pretty much what goes down in Fallen Kingdom.

It's three years since the disaster at Jurassic World.  Claire, the former park manager, now heads up a charity dedicated to preserving the island and letting the dinosaurs roam free.  But, there's a problem with this.  The once-extinct volcano on the island has gone active once again, and an impending eruption is going to wipe out all the dinosaurs.  The government chooses not to relocate the dinosaurs.  All hope is lost.

But in comes the Lockwoods, the original silent partners of the original park.  They've got a plan to relocate the dinosaurs and move them to a preserve, and it's work that could go much easier with Claire's help.  She can re-activate the old park tracking systems, and then they can track the dinosaurs from their RFID implants.  However, the Lockwoods also specifically want Blue, the last remaining velociraptor, and for that, they also need to bring back raptor trainer Owen. 

So we're all heading back to the island, where Claire and Owen are promptly double-crossed by the Lockwoods and left for dead.  They manage to escape and hide on the Lockwoods' ship as they head back to the mainland with dozens of captured dinosaurs in tow. 

This, of course, leads us to the saddest moment at the movies in 2018:  the brachiosaur dying on the docks of the island, as it's slowly engulfed by the volcanic ash.  Man, they really milk that.  And apparently, the filmmakers say that it's the very first brachiosaur we saw at the opening of Jurassic Park 

But yeah.  Turns out Mr. Lockwood is old and infirm, so his business manager came up with this nefarious plot to keep the company afloat:  round up the dinosaurs, and auction them to the highest bidder.  Big game hunters might want to hunt them, arms dealers might want to train them for military purposes.  But that's not all.  They've also employed Dr. Henry Wu, the geneticist who cloned the dinosaurs in the first place, to create the Indominous Rex 2.0...the Indoraptor, grown in a lab for military use. 

Naturally, once Owen and Clair learn all this, they gotta fuck shit up to make sure all this genetic tomfoolerly doesn't fall into the wrong hands. 

So, yeah.  Of all the Jurassic films, this one really leans heavily into the horror aspects a little more, as there's a lot more jump scares and people being eaten.  Other than that...meh.

I love the Jurassic film and I really wanted to love this one more, but at the end of the day, it's all been done. 

But I do love that ending, though.  Looks like number three is finally going to be the "dinosaurs rampaging on the mainland" film that they've been promising us, well, ever since Spielberg wanted to see it and we had the T-Rex in San Diego scene at the end of The Lost World.  Bring the hunt!

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