It's that time of the week again, folks! The latest column is up over at the main page. This week's offering is called I Hate Nothing. Here's a free sample:
"Now, this is a script-writing class, so if we are feeling brave, we can stand before the class and perform our scripts. I thought this was a pretty silly piece and, thought I might get some laughs out of it. When my instructor burst into laughter after just scanning it, I knew I had to perform it. I stood behind the podium and mustered up all the mock anger I could. I sounded really angry when I bellowed out, "I'M GOING TO FAIL THIS CLASS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ALL!" I got my laughs and I got my applause. I returned to my seat, satisfied that I got my fix for the day. Then, the guy I sit next to pointed to a girl in the back of the class. "Dude," he said. "You made her cry." And yeah. There she was, drying her eyes. "
So, what did she find so moving? Find out for yourself.
And in other news...tomorrow, I've got my latest computer test: How to Use Microsoft Word. This is the first one where I've done 0 studying the night before. What can I say? I've aced the first 3 tests (100%, 90%, 100%) so I'm feeling cocky. Still a little worried, though. I was going to study, honest, but I just left it too late and now I'm tired.
Speaking of being a cocky genius.... I remember being told this story in one of my math classes. Plato, that great philosopher, had this sign hanging above the door to his academy: "Let No One Enter Here Who Is Ignorant of Mathematics." Some day, I'm going to have an office, and I'm going to hang that sign on my door. Why? Because nothing pisses me off more than people who can't add.
Next Issue...Sleepy Bye Time
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