Midnight Ramblings

So I'm indulging my inner child. I've spent the past week looking for the most appropriate valentines to give to my classmates. I had it narrowed down to either Hulk valentines or Disney Princesses. To tell the truth, I really wasn't satisfied with either. Hulk seemed a little violent, and as much as I love Disney, giving a Disney princess valentine to one of my big hulking male classmates felt a little...gay. Then, way in the back of the shelf, I found...the Simpsons valentines! Needless to say, everyone was satisfied.

But, since I was in Kingsway Garden Mall, I decided to swing by the Disney store. Now, as much as I love Disney, I've always felt put-off by what they sell in the Disney Stores. Everything seems either too childish or to girly. There's nothing for the 18-35 male Disney fan! Until I was in there today. Now, I've noticed on past few visits that the Disney Stores have their own exclusive line of action figures entitled Disney Adventures. This is where you've got Aladdin, Tarzan, Hercules, and a few others all in their buff, action hero best. Never really bought one for my collection because they really didn't strike me. But then, when I was in there today, I noticed that they had...the Disney Adventure block figures! (For those who don't know, a "block figure" is an action figure done in the style of a Lego man, a Japanese Kubrick, any of those. "Block figure" is the blanket term to describe that style.) You'd get a 3-pack of figures and about a dozen accesories for an interactive play time. I thought, "Now hey, this rocks! This is something for the collection!" Then I saw the $20 price tag, and went, "Eww." Then I saw the sign that said, "75% off," and went "Yay! That's only $5! Perfect!" Then I remembered Mr. Anderson saying, "Disney is a big, evil corporation! If you buy anything from the Disney Store, I'll never speak to you again!" Well, he hasn't said that to me...yet. But he might. You never know.

I love how my best friend has gotten all political in his old age, but sometimes that makes him really fun to mess with:

Him>> McDONALD'S IS A TRULY EVIL CORPORATION! THEY ARE OUT TO RAPE AND PILLAGE THE WORLD ALL IN THE NAME OF THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR!, ALL WHILE SCREWING OVER THEIR EMPLOYEES!

Me>> Does that mean you don't want me to bring you back a Big Mac?

(Subtle thumps as he bangs his head against the wall.)

And before I go to supper, I said this today and one of my classmates figured I should put it on a greeting card: "Once you accept that you're going to crash and burn, your only concern becomes how big a crater you can make."

Next Issue...The Crater