Just forget the words and sing along

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Latest column's up! This week, I tell you about Lawn Signs:

" Here we are, once again in the throes of a federal election. As I write this, there’s still about three weeks until the big day, and the election campaign is just going to get nastier and nastier. It reminds me what I did during the last federal election, just a short two years ago. Now, I’m fairly certain that I talked about this to death over in my blog, but when I recently re-told it to my best friend, it was all new to him. So then, let me remind you of how I got a lawn sign for every candidate. "

Read it all here!


And you know, I've been so busy with my Flash reviews that I've been neglecting some other bits of news.

Right now, I'm all sad that I haven't been able to watch season 5 of Justice League. It's been on the USA since September, but not so in Canada yet. True, with my high-speed Internet, I could open it up and pirate the new episodes, but at 180M per episode, that's still a long time to download, even at high speed.

So, I e-mailed YTV to ask them when season 5 starts in Canada. Now, in the past, I've noticed that YTV has one of the friendlist and most responsive customer service departments ever when it comes to TV channels. You e-mail them, you will always get a polite response.

And I got my response! Season 5 of Justice League starts in Canada on Wednesday, February 1!

But, the e-mail from YTV had more information. In essence, the rest of the e-mail said, "It's safe to assume that your next question will be about season 5 of Teen Titans. Season 5 of Teen Titans starts in March. We don't know the exact date yet...check back with us at the end of January."

So there ya go.


Now, last week, I told you that The Weird Al Show looks to be coming to DVD. Are you ready for even more "Weird Al" Yankovic on DVD?

On February 7, the DVD The Simpsons: Kiss and Tell comes out. This DVD contains several Simpsons episodes that focus on the romance between Homer and Marge. And, yes, one of the episodes on that disc will be Three Gays of the Condo, which featured special guest voice "Weird Al" Yankovic. Amazon.ca is already advertising it for $12.95.


And one tiny little bit of movie news.

Acclaimed actor and political activist Tim Robbins is planning on doing a new movie version of George Orwell's classic (and my favourite book) 1984. Robbins himself is adapting it for the big screen with designs on directing it. No word yet on who he'll get to star.

I don't think a new movie version is needed, as the film that came out in 1984 is about as close to the book as you could get. But still, I'm cautiously optimistic.

Flash Review!
Episode xx: Fast Forward

Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: Pike, the evil biker from the pilot who killed Barry's brother, is released from prison on a technicality. This, naturally, leads Barry into all kinds of self-doubt about the Flash and if he's really doing any good. And then, Pike's big revenge scheme accidentally propels the Flash 10 years into the future, where Pike is a ruthless mayor/dictator! Can the Flash get back to the past and stop this future from happening?

Hey! I Know that Guy! Pike's henchman, Kelso, is played by Robert O'Reilly, whom the Trekkies best know as Gowron, Chancellor of the Klingon Empire.

What's Good: I was really looking forward to re-watching this episode. It's one of the ones that I have very vivid memories of. The special effects are really above average for the show. The acting is great. My memories of it have really held up over the years. The future Central City really kind of resembles the Gotham City we saw at the start of Batman Begins, if only on a TV budget.

What's Not so Good: Yeah, it is fairly cliched that most superhero sagas have to do at least one storyline where the hero has a crisis of faith and questions if he's really doing any good.

Final Verdict: One of the best the series has to offer.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'll follow what I wrote yesterday. I'm going to go outside and play, come back, write a couple of brilliant columns for the website, upload this week's column, and just get away from the TV for a while.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

I really should go outside and play this weekend. Or something.
Flash Reviews!
Episode 13: Tina, Is That You?


Episode Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: Tina (the hot scientist who helps out the Flash) accidentally gets a jolt from her biofeedback machine, and it turns her into a homicidal punk bent on destroying the Flash!

What's Good: It's just always fun watching familiar characters go nuts and insane and all that. A few good comedic moments, too.

What's Not So Good: I don't think the concept was taken as far as it could. Oh, and spandex wasn't good in any decade.

Final Verdict: You walk away going "meh."

Episode 14: Be My Baby


Episode Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: Barry meets up with a woman whose daughter was fathered by a mob boss. The mob boss is hunting for his baby. Flash must save the baby!

Hey! I Know That Guy! The mob boss is Bryan Cranston, the dad on Malcolm in the Middle!

What's Good: A few good action scenes. A few good comedic moments, too, as Barry uses his super-speed to quiet a whole roomful of babies.

What's Not so Good: The "big tough guy stuck caring for a cute little baby" is one of the biggest cliches in action shows. Even way back when this first aired in 1991, the jokes were routine.

Final Verdict: Good, but cliched.
Guess how I spent my Saturday afternoon?

Flash Reviews!
Episode 8: Shroud of Death

Summary in 5 Sentences of Less: An assasin is picking off the members of the police force who arrested her father. One of them just happens to be the Flash's boss. So, he's off to stop an assasin!

What's Good: Some really nifty explosions and death-traps. And the final scene in which Barry convinces his partner - Julio Mendez - that he's not the Flash is priceless.

What's Not So Good: A lame "don't be consumed by hate" message.

Final Verdict: A good Thursday show.

Episode 9: Ghost in the Machine


Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: The Ghost, a super-villain from the 1950s, walks out of his cryo-tube and is ready to conquer the future of 1990! The Flash has to team up with Nightshade, a 1950s superhero, to deal with the threat.

What's Good: I love technology-themed villains from old TV shows. Even though this was at least 5 years before the Internet went mainstream, they managed to get it right. And you have to love those "villain is still out there" endings.

What's Not So Good: Not much

Final Verdict: A fun and exciting romp.

Episode 10: Sight Unseen


Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: An invisible man steals a deadly virus and threatens the city. Meanwhile, Tina is infected with that virus and is left to die in Star Labs. Can the Flash save Tina and the city?

What's Good: I really enjoy it when a hero and a villain actually sit down and talk about their differing philosophies. It makes the villain a little more dimensional. Plus, great use of not only the Flash's superpowers, but his skills as a scientist.

What's Not So Good: Is there, like, some unwritten law saying that every superhero has to meet up with an invisible man?

Final Verdict: Good, but not exceptional.

Episode 11: Beat the Clock


Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: A famous jazz musician was framed for murder, and is slated to be executed in 1 hour. But, the Flash just got evidence clearing the guy's name. Can the Flash blow the lid off this conspiracy in one hour?

Hey! I Know that Guy! The murder victim (who we learn was not really murdered) is Oscar-nominated actress Angela Bassett!

What's Good: Supporting character Julio Mendez finally gets an episode. The Flash taking out a bad guy by crashing cymbals against the bad guy's head at super-speed. And I always loved that image of the Flash running into the execution chamber at the last possible second to turn off the electric chair.

What's Not so Good: Rather cliched plot, don't you think?

Final Verdict: Pretty good.

Episode 12: The Trickster


Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: Halfway through the series, we finally start meeting the Flash's rouges gallery! Psychotic mass murderer James Jessie has an encounter with the Flash, and is inspired to don his coloured costume and gimmicks. He is reborn as the Trickster, and starts going on a rampage in Central City.

Hey! I Know that Guy! Ladies and gents, this is why this show gets a whole paragraph in the Geek Handbook and not just a footnote. The Trickster is, in real life...LUKE SKYWALKER!! That's right, Mark Hamill plays James Jessie.

What's Good: Everything. It's like they finally took everything you like about comic book movies and managed to make a proper TV show about it. Healthy doses of action, some much-appreciated humour without seeming forced, a truly psycho villain, and a knight in shining armor.

What's Not so Good: Nothing.

Final Verdict: One of the best episodes so far.
Oh, I have to play catch-up. I got a load of more....

Flash Reviews!
Episode 5: Double Vision

Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: The Flash is injected with a microchip, thus allowing a mad scientiest to control the Flash through virtual reality.

What's Good: Love that trippy dream sequence where the Flash tries to uncover his suppressed memories of what he did while under the mad scientist's control.

What's Not So Good: Hey! Just like all action shows, it's the token "episode set in a city's ethenic community," so we can have all kinds of "get out of here, stranger!" and "you don't understand our problems!" scenes.

Final Verdict: That mad scientiest was actually a pretty cool villain. I give it a thumbs up.

Episode 6: Sins of the Father

Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: An old bank robber that Barry's father put away has escaped from prison and is gunning for revenge! It's up to the Flash to save his father!

What's Good: The Flash busting up a bar.

What's Not So Good: When it comes to 1-hour action shows, those "redemption between father and son" plots always seem kind of weak.

Final Verdict: A wholly unremarkable episode.

Episode 7: Child's Play

Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: A young runaway has stolen an incriminating article designed to put away a 60s drug lord who's been hiding underground. Naturally, the 60s drug lord is all pissed off, because this'll put a cramp in his big comeback. It's up to the Flash to stop the drug lord and redeem the kid.

Hey! I Know That Guy! The young runaway was early-90s teen sensation Johnathon Brandis, who went on to greater fame as Lucas the boy genius on seaQuest.

What's Good: This episode contains two of my all time favourite Flash moments: the Flash uses his super-speed to catch bullets and hurl them back at a villain, AND, while high on the 60s drug lord's new drug, the Flash discovers that, when he vibrates his body at super-speed, he can pass through solid objects. Plus, one of the more accessible DC comics in-jokes. As the Flash, in his civilian guise as Barry Allen, passes a movie theare showing a double feature of Superman and Batman, he remarks "Haven't we had enough of these guys?" (In this scene, show composer Shirley Walker even slips in a little of Danny Elfman's Batman theme.)

What's Not So Good: The villain is like a bad guy from the 1960s Batman TV show, what with him being a hippy and all and having all his henchmans dressed as hippies and saying things like "groovy" and "far out, man." That, or when the Flash finally stops the villain by strapping on an electric guitar and playing a super-fast version of Purple Haze.

Final Verdict: This episode rocks. It's got healthy doses of comedy and drama.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Here, I think, is the best illustration of Alberta's near-fanatical devotion to the Conservative Party.

I saw this report on CTV NewsNet this morning. It's the story of Rob Anders, the Conservative incumbent for the riding of Calgary West.

Now, as soon as the writ was dropped, Anders dropped off the face of the Earth. He hasn't shown up for any candidates forums, he hasn't done any door-knocking, and his people have declined all requests for interviews. When the media asks about his current whereabouts, the media is told that Anders is out in BC, helping out a Tory campaign in one of those all-important BC swing ridings. Calls to the that BC riding office say that Anders was there, but he's gone now.

It's becoming a great mystery in Calgary. Where is Rob Anders? People are starting to grow cynical with this man. How can the person be so arrogant that he'll do no campaigning in his own riding? On the CTV NewsNet story I saw, they had footage from a candidates forum where all the candidates attacked him for not showing up, and many a voter walked away going, "I'm not voting Conservative, seeing as to how he can't even come out to meet his constituents."

Anders, however, is expected to get re-elected in a landslide.


And let's not forget the exciting story of Edmonton Centre. As I'm sure you know, the incumbent in Edmonton Centre is Deputy Prime Minister Anne McLellan; the only Liberal in Alberta.

There's a bit of a mini-scandal brewing in Edmonton Centre. I'm surprised that even Edmonton's most devoted Conservative supporters called it a nasty and underhanded blow.

Laurie Hawn, the Conservative running against Anne McLellan, sent everyone in Edmonton Centre an envelope. Inside was a little note saying, "If you were a friend of the Liberals, this would be stuffed with cash! Stand up for Canada. Vote Conservative."

McLellan called it an attack on her integrity. Hawn called it a light-hearted reminder of the Gomery inquiry. And, shockingly, most people are siding with McLellan.


And, you know, with all these crazy attack ads going on, probably the best spoof of them happened on the Rick Mercer Report back on Tuesday.

It was an ad attacking the Communist Party and it was paid for by...the Marxist-Leninist Party. As the announcer says at the end, "Bet you didn't know that Canada has two Communist Parties. The Marxist-Leninist Party. Splitting the lost cause vote."

Head on over to the Rick Mercer Report website and watch it. You want to click on the big picture of the leader of the Communist Party.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Ya know, I really should be focusing my energies on that job hunt instead of pissing around doing this:


Flash Review!
Episode 4: Honor Among Theives


Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: An all-star team of the world's greatest theives converge on Central City to pull a museum heist. It's up to the Flash to stop them! Meanwhile, Barry has...issues with the director of the museum.

What's Good: The Flash chewing down on a turkey leg after rounding up the last of the crooks.

What's Not So Good: Special effects kind of take a nosedive in this episdoe.

Final Verdict: Not too shabby.
Yay! It's time for more....


Flash Reviews!
Episode 2: Out of Control


Episode Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: A mad scientist is experimenting on homeless people. The mad scientist is an old boyfriend of Tina McGee, scientest and confidant to the Flash. Oh, and thanks to genetic experiments gone wrong, the Flash fights a werewolf and...the Hulk?

What's Good: Now that the show has gone to series, production values have gone up. The special effects make-up on the werewolf and the Hulk-like monster are quite good. And Shirley Walker's score is still spectacular. You can tell that their goal was to try to do Batman in a one-hour weekly format. Plus, this episode contains the one gag that stands out the most in my mind from when I was 13 years old: Barry Allen, at a party, using his super-speed to down an entire tray of h'ors douvers in under 5 seconds.

What's Not So Good: Ye gods, I think this episode was edited with a chainsaw. And I'm not to sure about Amanda Pays, who played Tina Her acting seems a little...off.

Final Verdict: A pretty good second episode.


Episode 3: Watching the Detectives


Episode Summary in 5 Sentences or Less: A sleazy DA learns the Flash's true identity and starts blackmailing the Flash to do his dirty work. Meanwhile, the Flash tries to convince the private eye who uncovered his true identity the error of her ways.

What's Good: The scene where the Flash uses his super-speed to rig every game in a casino. All the lead actors are starting to settle into their roles, and the acting is just getting better.

What's Not So Good: All the sleazy mafia types gets you confused really easily.

Final Verdit: Really, really good comic book entertainmnet.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Here's your first one, folks:


Flash Review!
Episode 1: Pilot


Summary in 5 sentences or less: Barry Allen's in a lab accident and gets super-speed. Barry's brother is killed by a murderous biker gang. Barry becomes the Flash and brings in his brother's killer.

What's Good: John Wesley Shipp (Barry Allen/The Flash). He struts around and mugs for the camera like he's the poor man's Bruce Campbell. Some of the special effects have actually held up very well. Subtle references to the whole Flash mythos. It's a comic book show in the best sense of the term.

What's Not So Good: A fairly routine superhero origin plot. Some of the special effects have NOT held up very well. The laboratories look very low-budget. And Shipp doesn't know how to fight yet. Seriously! I'm no fighter, but I know when a guy doesn't know how to throw a punch.

Hey! I Know That Guy! Richard Belzer, best known as Det. John Munsch on Homicide: Life on the Street and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, pops up as TV news reporter Joe Klein. If memory serves, this is a recurring role.

Final Verdict: I still see the cool bits, but I'm also noticing some healthy bits of cheese.
If there's one thing I love about DVD, it's this trend of every TV show that barely lasted 13 episodes getting a super-special edition boxed set, preserving the series forever. And, of course, when one of my favourite TV shows of all time finally gets said treatment, I darn near wet my pants.

The Flash: The Complete Series

It was the fall of 1990. My brother and I were still on the high of Batman from the year before. Everyone was predicting a huge tidal wave of comic book movies and TV shows, thanks to Batman. Naturally, when we started reading about The Flash, we just had to tune in.

Based on the classic DC character of the same name, The Flash followed the adventures of Barry Allen, a forensic scientist with the Central City Police Department. One freak accident in the lab, and he was given the power of super-speed. Naturally, he decided to use these powers to become a superhero, and thus the Flash was born.

My 13-year-old-self absolutley LOVED this show. It was fun, exciting, and action-filled. Everything about it screamed "Batman light," from the sculpted rubber Flash suit to the Danny Elfman-composed theme music. But all good things must end. After one year and 22 episodes, it vanished.

Of course, the explosion of comic book movies didn't happen until now. And with the teenage Flash having made a guest appearnace on Smallville last season, his new prominence as one of the main characters on Justice League, and rumors of a Flash movie to be written and directed by David Goyer (writer of Batman Begins and the Blade trilogy), I guess it was just a matter of time for the series to come out on DVD. But, I was awash in shock, amazement, and excitement when the announcement was made late last year. The Flash: the Complete Series.

I've been counting down to this day. I ran into Edmonton today just to buy this. I know I really shouldn't be spending my money on DVDs - especially 6-disc sets containing complete TV shows - but I just had to get this.

I haven't seen any of these episodes since they were first on TV some 15 years ago. I sure hope it's still as good as my 13-year-old-self thought.

So, here's what I'm going to do. I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier with every other dead TV show I bought. Over the next couple of weeks, as soon as I finish watching an episode, I'm going to post a review of said episode right here on the blog.

Man o man. I am just so happy right now.

Monday, January 09, 2006

It's kind of hard to not be a disillusioned voter where I live.

Today, in their series of riding profiles, The Edmonton Journal got around to do my riding - Yellowhead. As the article points out, Yellowhead has been Conservative since 1958. Well, first it was PC, then Alliance/Reform...the point is this is a very safe riding for the right wing.

I like it when the Edmonton Journal does their riding profiles. Since Yellowhead is a geographically huge area, all the candidates forums tend to be a minimum of an hour-and-a-half's drive away. And none of the candidates come door-knocking in Entwistle. The Edmonton Journal's riding profile is almost my only chance to meet the candidates.

As such, the Conservative incumbent - a backbencher by the name of Rob Merrifield - just seems to be phoning it in. He's got no real vision for the riding of Yellowhead. His only goal is to combat voter apathy. You know...get more of his supporters to the polls.

And sadly, the Liberal candidate - Nancy Love - seems no better. She seems to have resigned herself to losing and is also just phoning it in. Now THAT'S the kind of dedicated representative I want in Ottawa.

On the other hand, all of the other candidates - Noel Lapierre of the NDP, Monika Schaeffer of the Greens and John Wierenga of the Christian Heritage Party - now they all seem somewhat passionate about their parties and their platforms.

Even though we already fairly certain that Merrifield is once again going to do a lackluster job of representing Entwistle, we know he's going to get in again. Almost makes one feel like not voting. But I'll vote anyway. I know...in Yellowhead, voting against the Conservatives is like banging your head against the wall. But, if you bang long enough, that wall will eventually crumble.

I'd link to the Yellowhead Riding profile, but the Edmonton Journal's website is one of those nasty newspaper websites that you have to pay to get into. They don't even offer a "24-hour free sample" that you could exploit. I get in because I get home delivery of the Journal, and subscribers get free access to the website. If you're curious to know more about Yellowhead, let me know and I'll e-mail you the article.


In more fun news, the first-ever Clerks 2 teaser is up!

I will give it this: it looks and feels like the first film. With sequels, that could be either a good thing or a bad thing. I'm siding with "good thing" for now.

Anyway, you can go see it for yourself at the official Clerks 2 website!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Holy moly.

Watching the news tonight and the latest on the election...something big must have happened this weekend, as the Conservatives have jumped ahead to get an 8-point lead in the polls. The Conservatives are building momentum. This just may be a Conservative government when all is said and done. "Prime Minister Stephen Harper." Gives me goosebumps. And not the good kind.

I don't know. I just don't think that the Conservative Party is ready to rule yet. Essentially, they're not unified. They're still this Franken-party, made up of remnants of the Progressive Conservatives, the Reform, and the Alliance. Everyone's not on the same page yet. Hell, you've still got the Member from Kicking Horse Pass screaming "The West Wants In." It's not so much that they have a hidden agenda, as that everyone is following their own agenda. Once they have some policies that the whole party can get behind, then, maybe, the whole country can get behind them. And maybe even me.

That, and, you know, I just don't like Stephen Harper. Something about him gives me the willies.

Now, I'm not saying that the Liberals are a better choice. When you're in power for 13 years, eventually you're going to get lazy, sloppy, and addicted to the power. Case in point: Ralph Klein.

I just can't help but think that the Conservatives are going to win because, based on the media portrayals right now, the Conservatives are simply the lesser of two evils. What's that old saying? "Governments aren't won. They're lost."

With me, it kind of goes back to the first leaders debate a couple of weeks ago. There was Paul Martin, getting all passionate and raising his voice as he said he'd defend Canadian unity and get emotionally swept away. And there was Stephen Harper, just calmly and cooly making his points, his voice hardly showing any emotion. I walked away thinking: "OK, essentially, Paul Martin is Bones, and Stephen Harper is Spock. Where the hell is Captain Kirk?"

I look at this election and that's what I think. Where the hell is Captain Kirk?

The next debate is tomorrow night. Let's see how things change....


Heads up all you fellow Kevin Smith fans! It's been revealed that the very first teaser for Clerks 2 goes online tomorrow! Now, yes, they already made an Internet-only teaser made up completely of clips of the first film. But this is going to be the first, official theatrical teaser with footage from the film!

So, keep your eyes peeled for that!
Latest column's up! Today, I tell you my history as a Gamer:

" I don’t know if I have to turn in my geek membership for revealing this, but I’m not really into video games. Don’t get me wrong, there was a time when I was, but that seems like such a long time ago. I’ve come a long way from when I was a scant 13 years old and I saved my paper route money for 6 months in order to buy a Nintendo Game Boy. This was back when the Game Boy first came out, too, so I wound up paying $130 for the basic black-and-white screen that burned through 4 AA’s faster than you could finish Super Mario Land. But, time passed, and when I was around 16 or 17, the Game Boy was relegated to the back of my closet to gather dust."

Read it all here!

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Wasted my afternoon finally watching Titanic, all beautifully digitally re-mastered for DVD. Whenever I watch a DVD of film I already own on VHS, I'm always amazed at the visible improvment in picture quality. But yeah, it's great to finally have it on DVD. (It's one of the films where I've been waiting for a nicely loaded special edition before buying it again.)

Anyway, I watched Titanic, and, as I got Batman for Christmas, I've been watching Batman a lot lately as well. And those two movies have something in common. When they came out, they were so incredibly fucking popular. I remember that, in the summer of 1989, you couldn't spit without hitting Batman's logo. And then, Christmas 1997, I remember reading the report of a woman who sat and watched Titanic over and over again for 36 hours straight. It's incredible.

So, I'm going to share with you an idea I've had for a long time now. I want to do some kind of creative project someday that's set in the summer of 1989, if only so I can have a character who's seen Batman about a hundred times and constantly dispenses arcane wisdom in the form of quotes from Batman.

I did a little surfing...there is a very similar film coming out. It's called 5-25-77. It's about a teenage boy who loves movies and, one day, his mother pulls some strings so he can go visit a real movie set. Of course, this being the mid-70s, the film set he visits is Star Wars. The kid walks away thinking, "This Star Wars is going to be the greatest movie ever made." The bulk of the film takes place on May 25, 1977 (hence the title), and it's mostly about the kid's odyssey to the movie theatre to see Star Wars. It's a small indie film. It's been bouncing off and on the radar for a few years, and I see it's finally been made and will be coming out this year some time. It was written and directed by a Patrick Reed Johnson, and the film is apparently autobiographical.

But yeah. In that case, the movie hype is core to the plot. In my project, it'll just be the setting, resulting in a quirk of a supporting character.

Just thought I'd share. You'll probably steal it now.... Damn this blogging!

Friday, January 06, 2006

You know, what I love the most about DVD is this trend of obscure TV shows that didn't last very long coming out in a big boxed set containing every single episode. As it currently sits, there are three (3) obscure TV shows that I'm waiting for a DVD release.

And two of them come out in 2006.

Firstly, as I've ranted before, The Flash: The Complete Series comes out on Tuesday. That's one where I'm digging deep in my savings and buying it as soon is its one the shelves. I've already got Tuesday cleared on my schedule. (Something very easy to do when you're unemployed.)

And...number two. It was just announced today that sometime in 2006 we're going to get a super special edition DVD boxed set containing every episode of...

The Weird Al Show!

Yes, late today the official "Weird Al" Yankovic website announced that DVD label Shout! Factory will be bringing The Weird Al Show to DVD in 2006. No word yet on when in 2006, or what you'll get for bonus features. Weird Al is also expected to release a new album this year, so I expect that they'll come out around the same time.

For those who don't remember, The Weird Al Show was "Weird Al" Yankovic's short-lived Saturday morning TV show. It premiered in the fall of 1997 and ran for just one season. It followed the adventures of Al as he lived in his subterranian cave and learned valuable life lessons. It featured such notable recurring characters as the Hooded Avenger (the superhero who lived in the cave next door), Val Brentwood - Gal Spy, Madam Judy the Psychic, Al's Cousin Corky, and Al's sidekick Harvey the Wonder Hampster. Throw in some gratuitous celebrity guest appearances and cartoons featuring Weird Al as the superhero Fatman, and you had a solid half-hour of comedy.

Yes, 2006 is going to be a good year.

Oh, and in case you're curious, the third TV show that I"m praying gets its complete series boxed set was the brilliant sitcom Andy Richter Controls the Universe.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

You know, I just can't go to bed without sharing the big movie news of the day.

Futurama is making a comeback! Maybe.

See, Futurama is very much following in the footsteps of Family Guy. Thanks to being on in reruns 3 times a day on 6 different cable channels, plus its strong sales on DVD, Futurama has finally found an audience and is gaining in popularity. When that happened with Family Guy, it came back from a 4-year hiatus to finally pump out new episodes. The rumor has always been, though, that Futurama would come back as a straigh-to-DVD movie.

Well, it was reported today that 20th Century Fox (the makers of Futurama) have begun negotiations to "get the band back together" on Futurama.

But will they be back for a straight-to-DVD movie? No.

They'll be back for a long-delayed fifth season.

Now, of course, this could still all fall apart. They've only just begun negotiations to reunite the entire original creative team. If they can't get the whole team, this won't go forward.

But for now, it's nice to dream.
I'm just loving my new DVDs. I love Sin City. It's just so over-the-top in its violence, and its dialogue, and its poorly-computer-animated "digital backlot." Makes me want to run out and buy Pulp Fiction. I spent my morning watching Sin City.

I haven't been able to sit down and watch Titanic yet. Most of its bonus features are "branching," which I find thouroughly annoying. For those who don't know the lingo, "branching" is when you're watching a DVD, and a little icon will pop up in the corner of the screen, and you hit "enter" and it'll take you to a featurette about the making of that scene. I know some love that, but I find it annoying. I'll watch all my featurettes after the movie, thank you very much.

However, I did take some time this morning to watch Titanic's original ending. We all know the original end. After telling her story, Old Rose goes out, we see that she had the diamond all along, and she tosses the diamond into the ocean. Well, in the original ending, Brock (the guy looking for the diamond played by Bill Paxton) discovers Old Rose hanging on the guard rail, and, thinking Rose is going to jump, goes and stops her. Old Rose then reveals to Brock that she had the diamond all along, and she gives Brock a speach about the "trappings of wealth" and "money doesn't buy happiness" and other such cliches. She allows Brock to hold the diamond just once, and then she tosses the diamond overboard. Brock gets closure, and is finally able to let go of his quest.

I can see why they cut it. It was far too preachy.

Oh, and there are three very good Easter eggs on Titanic. These are the kinds of Easter eggs I love. They are:

- The classic "Saturday Night Live" sketch "Titanic's Original Ending," in which Brock (played by guest host Bill Paxton) beats the crap out of Old Rose to find the diamond's location, only to have Rose confess that she made the story up. And then, Titanic's writer/director James Cameron (played by himself) comes on to admit that he re-filmed the ending because he was "chased out of the test screening by people with torches and pitchforks" and that he wrote his original ending because he "thought it was funny to watch an old lady get beat up."

- From the 1998 MTV Movie Awards, a sketch in which two soulless Hollywood executives (played by Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn) try to convince James Cameron (played by himself) to make Titanic 2, in which a secret society of Titanic survivors have built a utopia in the Titanic wreckage.

- The classic Internet cartoon Titanic in 30 Seconds (and Re-enacted by Bunnies).

It's a very nice DVD. I will not disclose how to find the Easter eggs, because that would ruin it for you.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Ahh, it was a good day. It's always a good day when you get a lot of stuff but spend very little money.

Firstly, I had no problem at Future Shop in exchanging all the duplicate DVDs I got for Sin City: Extended, Recut, Unrated. I was also very tempted to blow some Christmas money on Fantastic Four and Serenity, but I decided not to. Instead, I'll save my money for next week and The Flash: the Complete Series.

Then, I hit the greeting card stores. As I'm sure you know, starting in about August all the greeting card stores start selling their super-exclusive collector-geared Christmas tree ornaments. A lot of them are pop-culture centered, and, trust me, it's a lateral move from "action figures" to "Christmas tree ornaments." Now, all those greeting card store collector's ornaments are quite pricey...until Boxing Day. Then they all get marked down to 80% off. (They are all stamped "Christmas 2005" after all.) Of course, when you leave it to around this time, most of the good ones are gone. But, I lucked out. I got the super-exclusive Christmas tree ornaments of Storm and Princess Leia in the gold bikini. Regular price: $22, each. I paid: $5, each.

Then, I got home, to discover that there was a parcel for me! My very good friend gave me a $30 gift card for Amazon.ca which I blew on one of my most-coveted DVDs...the long-awaited 3-disc super-special edition of Titanic. And it arrived today!

Wow...ultra-mega-special editions of Sin City and Titanic. Each one has 3 different running commentaries. That means I'll be watching each film a minimum of 4 times. I have no idea when.

See, as I recently explained to my best friend, you'd think that, by living at home and being unemployed, I could watch DVDs whenever I want, but NO! My father takes every afternoon off to watch his judge shows, and prime time is reserved for Mom's soaps. So, if I want to watch a DVD on a weekday, I've got this very narrow window in the morning.

I just need my own house. Then, I can watch DVDs whenever I want! Even naughty ones.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Do you want to see something funny? Do you want to see something truly roll-around-on-the-floor pee-your-pants funny?

Go to the official Conservative Party website. You'll notice in the right-hand column that they have all their TV ads loaded and ready to play with the click of a mouse. You want to watch the one called "They'll Go Neg."

It's a very negative attack ad attacking the Liberal party for...running a negative attack election campaign.

HOLY FUCK!! This thing is up there with "so bad it's good." And it's whole tone!

"The Liberals are a party embroiled in scandal. The Liberals are a party in the depths of corruption. And what are they going to do next? They're going to run a negative election campaign. Stand up for Canada."

Did it not occur to anyone in the Conservative Party that running an attack ad attacking attack ads is a VERY STUPID IDEA??

Especially, when, so far, the Liberals are the only ones who AREN'T running negative ads. The Conservatives are attacking something that hasn't happened yet! And probably won't happen! But then, as the election campaign kicks into high gear, I guess the Liberals might be rolling out an attack ad or two.

But man, now I've seen everything. A negative ad attacking negative ads.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Latest column's up! This week, I tell you about The Making of a Christmas Card List:

"Ah, the holidays. I really do like this time of year. Christmas trees, the lights, and the presents! Lots and lots of presents! But there’s one part of the Christmas experience that I had yet to take part in, and I swore that this year I would start. It was time for me to put together my very first Christmas card list. It made such perfect sense! I mean, I’ve always been a guy who loved sending letters and postcards and the like, so why I hadn’t done it in the past was alarming. Well, that’s not true. I did put together a bit of a list and I sent everyone cards from my Christmas in Japan, but that doesn’t really count. It didn’t have the same sense of “official” about it."

Read it all here!

And, while you're at it, why don't you go check out my beautifully re-designed main page? Man, it looks good!