Just forget the words and sing along

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

And the fight with Future Shop continues! Despite all their claims that I couldn't turn it on because of issues with the hibernation mode and needing to drain capacitors, they've ruled that they put in a bad motherboard. The solution? They're going to put in ANOTHER new one. So, it's in the shop again for another month. This time, I demanded some kind of compensation, and do you know what they said? "We'll cut you a deal on a new one." Go to hell! And, according to the extended warranty, we have to do this song and dance 4 times before they just give me a new one. We're at #3....

But all this has gotten me thinking. There's got to be a better way to run a business. I actually hatched this idea way back when I was working at Extra Foods. Being a supervisor, I had the authority to place a reprimand on someone's record if they were acting up too much. That's all fine and dandy, but then I started thinking. In the military, what's the opposite of a reprimand? When you do something bad, you're reprimanded, and when you're good, you get a commendation. So, how come all these minimum wage hells don't give commendations?

I mean, sure, that's what the whole "Employee of the Month" thing is supposed to be about, but let's face it, Employees of the Month are generally branded as dorks, boss's pets, sell-outs, etc. Hell, shortly after I arrived in Japan, I discovered that Yves had been branded an "Employee of the Month," and I branded her a dork, sell-out, etc. And she was my friend! One of the people who convinced me to go to Japan! But, in all fairness, Mr. Anderson did do a good job of beating the crap out of me and defending his woman's honour. "She hated her management! *pow* She was complaining too much to head office! *smash* They did it to buy her off! *bang* So leave her alone! *thunk* "

So, once again, Yves, I'm sorry for those things I said.

But this is a great example of the flaws in the system. Not only do employees abuse it to abuse other employees, but the bosses abuse it to bribe troublesome employees. So, here's what I propose. Instead of the Employee of the Month program, corporations should adpot..."commendation pay." Whenever you, the employee, does something above and beyond the call of duty, or if customers wants to talk to the manager so they can shower you with compliments, then you qualify for commendation pay. You get a one-time bonus (amount to be hammered out later) with your paycheque. It's nice, simple, and discreet. Wouldn't that be much better? I'll develop this more and have a formal proposal for you in an upcoming column.

And that's what's wrong with society this week.

Next Issue...The Official Song of Alberta

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