Just forget the words and sing along

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

yay! So, last night, I was finally able to watch the season finale of Enterprise, entitled The Expanse. It's already been dubbed "the second pilot" by some, as they hope to really make over Enterprise to boost ratings in its third season. For those who have no interest whatsoever in Enterprise, here's what happens:

A mysterious probe arrives in Earth orbit, lets loose with a weapon of mass destruction, carves a trench in Earth from Florida to Venezuala, then self-destructs. Unsure what to make of all this, Enterprise is recalled to Earth by Starfleet. On they way home, Enterprise engages with those wacky time-travelling Suliban, and their leader, the mysterious shadowy man from the future, wants to talk with Captain Archer. "FutureGuy" tells Archer that the aliens are called the Xindi, and that, in the 26th Centruy, Earth will wipe out the Xindi homeworld. Somehow, the Xindi of the 22nd Century found this out, and seek to destroy Earth long before Earth destroys them. Naturally, the Suliban want Archer to stop the Xindi, as this kind of screws up the Suliban Temporal Cold War. Archer returns to Enterprise and they continue on their way. Just as they enter the Solar System, Enterprise is attacked by a Klingon Bird-of-Prey! (See, throughout season 2, Archer really pissed off the Klingons, mainly a captain named Duras.) Naturally, the Bird-of-Prey is commanded by Duras, and he wants to drag Archer back to the Klingon homeworld to answer for his crimes against the Empire. Archer says no, space battle breaks out, Enterprise is saved by some other Starfleet ships.

Back on Earth, Archer analyzes the wreckage of the Xindi probe and, thanks to some tips from FutureGuy, proves that it utilized technology from 400 years in the future. Since the Vulcans have proven time travel to be impossible, they instantly brand Archer a nut. The Vulcans also warn that, based on the coordinates the Suliban gave Archer, the Xindi homeworld lies in "The Delphic Expanse," a region of extremely unpredictable space. Most ships disappear. The ones that do come back face terrible damanges. The Vulcan ambassador tells of a Klingon crew that returned with their bodies turned inside out -- and still alive. The Vulcan ambassador even shows Archer the last footage from the last Vulcan ship that went in -- terrifying scenes of Vulcans going insane and murdering each other with their bare hands. Undaunted, Archer volunteers to take Enterprise into the Delphic Expanse to hunt down the Xindi.

The Vulcans protest this action. They even order T'Pol to be recalled to the Vulcan homeworld. But T'Pol is...confused. She has been on Enterprise too long. She is convinced that, now more than ever, they will need her as a science officer. But still, the Vulcan High Command orders her back to Vulcan. Luckily, Enterprise will pass close to Vulcan on the way to the Delphic Expanse, so they'll get to take T'Pol home.

Since the Klingons really took a pounding on Enterprise the NX-01 gets completely retrofit with new weapons, including the new, experimental, "photonic torpedoes." And a corp of Earth military forces. With their new weapons and crewmen, Enterprise sets out for the Delphic Expanse. They have another scrap with Duras outside of the solar system, which lets them test out the new photonic torpedoes.

As they near Vulcan, T'Pol tells Archer that Enterprise needs her now more than ever, and that she's resigning from the Vulcan High Command to stay with Enterprise. Archer steers Enterprise away from Vulcan and heads for the Expanse.

At the edge of the Expanse, Duras appears one last time with two other birds-of-prey! Space battle ensues. Enterprise destroys Duras' Bird-of-Prey, and presumably kills Duras. With nothing left dragging them back, Enterprise enters the Delphic Expanse....

All in all, it seemed a lot like The Search, the classic Deep Space Nine episode that brought us the Dominion. I really don't know what'll happen on next week's premiere, The Xindi.

Oh, and if anyone out there has a copy of last year's season premiere, Shockwave, Part II I still want to know how Archer got back to the past and how Hoshi wound up topless.

Next issue...WA? HOSHI WAS TOPLESS AND I MISSED IT?

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