Just forget the words and sing along

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Ahh, I had me a wonderfully relaxing day at West Edmonton Mall. Days which are going to become few and far between because it cost me $30 to put gas in the car.

The big goal was to finally see Kill Bill Vol. 2, and may I say, that's a fine piece of filmmaking. At the end, when the Bride finally catches up with Bill, and Bill goes on these rants about goldfish and Superman...it's brilliant dialogue, surprisingly sensitive, and when it's all added, it makes Bill seem that much more evil. But it's a great film, although I did squirm at the eyeball squishing scene. The werid thing is I laughed at a similar eyeball squishing scene in Minority Report.

Anyway, speaking of evil, today was a day I put an evil plot in motion. This is, perhaps the most diabolical thing I've ever done. As y'all know, Trouble's off in China right now teaching English. She's got this co-worker who's a real bitch. She's constantly giving Trouble a hard time and reads her mail, too, when it comes in. And, since I've sent Trouble an unhealthy amount of postcards, this bitchy co-worker has the impression that I'm the man Trouble left behind. And, apparently, it drives this bitchy co-worker nuts that she can't read my postcards. Thank God for my messy handwriting!

So, I've hatched a plot to help Trouble get this bitch. It's a huge intercontinental practical joke. I've sent a postcard to Trouble. It's clearly printed, so the bitchy co-worker can read it.

And in this postcard, I "dump" Trouble, and say that I've fallen in love with the bitchy co-worker through Trouble's stories. I then announce that I'm coming to China in the hopes of wooing the bitchy co-worker.

Oh, and the postcard was the wonderfully Freudian image of a train entering a tunnel.

As Darkstorm said, it is so much easier to be evil....

But I had a good omen when I mailed the postcard. I mailed it straight from the Post Office at West Edmonton Mall. A oversees postage came to $1.50. I paid with a twonie. And I got my change in the form of...a $0.50 coin. I was amazed, and double-thanked the clerk.

but all in all, it was a day of resisting temptation. With my savings starting to dry up, I'm trying to spend money on only the essentials. The essentials I needed to buy today were some new pairs of pants, mainly because I've worn out the crotches in most of my pairs. Go ahead, there's no dirty joke you can't make that my Dad has already made.

So, what were the temptations I resisted?

- The ReBoot: Daemon Rising and My Two Bobs DVD. (cost $30)
- The one thing I really geeked out over: they finally released a score album for Shrek. I was actually impressed with the score in that film. (cost $25)
- And another CD I finally found: the score for The Matrix. Actually, this represents a little personal paradigm shift. Back during my original days of my radio show, I'd buy a CD over the summer and think, "I can't wait to play this on the show!" When I saw The Matrix score, I though, "Dude, I can use that for so many commercials." (cost $25)

I did, however, find two pairs of pants for a total of $30.

And then I got home and Mom told me my tax refund came today. I got $521. I could have bought a CD guilt free....

Next Issue...Get a Job

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