Well, the day I've been worrying about for the past two weeks has come. I got the bill for my NAIT tuition in the mail today. Actually, I'm pleasantly surprised. It's a full $500 cheaper than I thought it'd be. So, first step now is to go to the bank and unlock the special savings account I tucked the tuition money into. (I locked it away so I wouldn't accidentally spend it on DVDs.) But first, I've got to beg the boss for a day off next week so I can go into NAIT and pay it in person.

Anywho, I feel like mentioning this movie news. There's a movie in development right now called Zarutha. It's based on a childrens book by Chris Van Allsburg, the same guy who wrote Jumanji. And, just like Jumanji, Zarutha is about a cursed board game. This time, the board game is sci-fi based, and it flings a family's home into deep space, where the family proceeds to have a series of adventures. Tim Robbins is playing the father in this family, Jon Favreau (he directed the Will Ferrel movie Elf and was paired with Vince Vaughn in a bunch of indie films) is directing, and Stan Winston is bringing the aliens to life. They are saying it is a sequel to Jumanji "in spirit and themes only."

Truth be told, Jumanji is still on my list of "movies to check out out of morbid curiosity." It's a short list. The only other movie on it right now is Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle.

Next Issue...Jarutha

First things first, got the latest column up. This week's is Oil & Vinegar:

"I do crazy things at work when it gets slow. It’s probably stuff I shouldn’t do. Because we are in the produce section, the salad dressing is right next to us. I’ve been compelled to do this for as long as I can remember. You should try this at home. It’s a lot of fun. What you do is you get yourself a bottle of a good oil & vinegar salad dressing. I find Italian is the most common. Set it down in front of you. Shake the hell out of it. Then, watch it separate. Better than a lava lamp."

Read it all!

Next Issue...Romancing the Phone

I really should be writing my latest column, but I just feel like doing nothing right now. I'm watching this biography of Drew Barrymore on TV right now. I'm still curious about that 20th Anniversary Special Edition of E.T. The Extra Terrestrial. I should get out and rent it sometime soon.

Here's a little tidbit about E.T. According to the Internet Movie Database, Steven Spielberg and E.T. writer Melinda Matheson did consider a sequel to E.T.. The working title was "Nocturnal Fears," and it was going to be about Elliot and his friends being abducted by aliens! These aliens would have been the arch-enemies of E.T.'s race, and E.T. came charging to the rescue. In this film, it would have been revealed that E.T.'s true name was "Zreck."

My favourite joke about an E.T. sequel comes from the classic cartoon Freakazoid!. We were on the set of E.T. 2. Elliot, now a teenager, is making out with some chick on his couch. From behind the couch, we see E.T.'s trademark hand and glowing finger reach up. He taps Elliot on the shoulder and says, "Elliot, I'm back!" Elliot just says, "Get lost! I'm in the middle of something." And then Steven Spielberg is kidnapped, and Freakazoid comes to the rescue.

Anyway, on TV yesterday, I managed to catch a little bit of the very first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. That is still high on my list of films that deserve a fully-loaded 2-disc super-special edition DVD. I mean, do you know the story of how that film was made? Even though TMNT was one of the biggest fads of the late-1980s, no studio in Hollywood wanted to touch the live-action Ninja Turtles film. Finally, the only studio that committed was a small indie studio called New Line Cinema, whose only mainstream success at that time was A Nightmare on Elm Street and its endless string of sequels. When Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hit theatres in the spring of 1990, it was a massive hit. It became one of the top 3 films of 1990. Thanks to the profits from that film, New Line Cinema went from a little indie studio to the major Hollywood studio they are today. Even with the massive The Lord of the Rings trilogy under its belt, New Line Cinema still counts Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as one of the most profitable films in the studio's history.

So, yeah. The Turtles built a studio. That at least should deserve a 2-disc special edition. All I ask is a running commentary with director Steve Barron, and TMNT creators Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird.

Next Issue...Next Column

OH, here's some DVD news for Mom, because this is one of her favourite movies.

Disney has just announced a 2-disc, 40th anniversary special edition of Mary Poppins. The film is digitally restored and in its original widescreen aspect ratio. For bonus materials, you get an all-new hour-long documentary about the making of the film, new interviews with the cast and crew, an all-new animated short based on a P.L. Travers short story, a long-lost cut musical number called Chimpanzoo, and an all-new running commentary with stars Julie Andrews, Dick Van Dyke, and composer Richard Sherman. The big release day is December 14.

Next Issue...A Spoonful of Salt

We've all read the news by now: Ralph Fiennes is playing the evil Lord Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I feel like mentioning it if only because I'm getting sick of reading the headline "He Who Shall Not Be Named...Has Been Named!"

You know, as I watch some classic TV lately, I'm wondering why CBC hasn't jumped on the DVD bandwagon yet. One of my new cable channels is showing Degrassi Junior High in reruns. I'm certain there's people out there who would buy Degrassi Junior High: The Complete Series on DVD. And lots of other old CBC titles, too. You just know that Road to Avonlea: The Complete First Season is just begging to be released. And where's the big boxed set of The King of Kensington, still regarded as the #1 Canadian sitcom of all-time? What spurned this on was catching Seeing Things in reruns. If it has the cult following that the Internet says it has, then Seeing Things deserves a DVD release.

Who remembers Seeing Things? One of CBC's biggest hits of the 1980s. It was rather unusual. How can I describe it.... Imagine if Haley Joel Osmet from The Sixth Sense grew up to be George Costanza from Seinfeld, and got a job as a crime reporter at a big city newspaper. While using his ability to see dead people to solve murders, he gets himself wrapped up in an Ally McBeal-style love triangle with his estranged wife and a Crown Prosecuter. Yeah, that's it. The Sixth Sense crossed with Ally McBeal. And our hero is George from Seinfeld.

Right now, I'm just frustrated. We had some guests earlier today, and my parents were bragging about the Governer General's Award I won in high school. I really wish they'd quit going on about that hunk of bronze I got nine years ago. It's nothing special. They give them out like candy. Randomly pick five of my classmates from Augustana; hell, five students on any college campus, and they'll have one too. Did I ever mention that I really, really, really hate my awards for acadmeic excellence? They're all so utterly pointless. Look, doing your homework and passing your tests is nothing that deserves an award. All an award for academic excellence does is unfairly single out a kid for doing what he's going to school to do. It makes him an object of ridicule. Let's be honest, they were originally established to be little more than a self-esteem boost to high school punks who can't get laid. I want to take every award I've ever gotten and just burn them. They're all so fucking pointless.

I hope my kids are nice and stupid. At least that way they'll be normal.

Next Issue...Governor General's Award...Cheap!

Wow, here's a particular evil being hoisted upon us by DreamWorks.

Shrek 2 hits DVD on November 5; a Friday. It'll be a single-disc edition. That means no bonus material about the making of the film. Now, also on that day, they'll be releasing a box set of all the Shrek films. That set will include an exclusive bonus disc containing all your bonus features for Shrek 2.

Are you getting this? If I want to get the bonus materials for Shrek 2, I have to buy Shrek again. That's just stupid.

Next Issue...Boycott

Spent my morning watching Cardcaptors. It's this anime that's on TeleToon. It premiered several years ago with a big marketing push, but now I can actually watch it. As with a lot of anime, it was the climactic showdown. And it was at the Tokyo Tower. Ya know, I never went to the Tokyo Tower. Sure, I saw it on the horizon lots. Was in the general area several times. But I was always warned against going to it. "It's just an overpriced, tacky tourist trap," I was warned. So, I never went.

Also doing a little more research on Tokyo Mew Mew. This is the one anime I watched every Saturday morning when I was in Japan. It's currently being dubbed and will be on Fox kids this fall. I forget the proper term for "anime for girls," but Tokyo Mew Mew is an "anime for girls." They figure this'll be the biggest launch for an anime for girls since Sailor Moon first burst onto the North American scene some 9 years ago.

And, Tokyo Mew Mew is generating some controversy among die hard anime fans. For it's North American release, the show is being retitled Hollywood Mew Mew. The die hard geeks are going, "But, as soon as people see the Tokyo Tower, they'll know it's not Hollywood!" I don't care. It's being imported by 4Kids Entertainment, the same folks who import Pokemon, so I think we're OK.

I'm still wondering how to reply to that announcer who e-mailed me yesterday demanding a thank you. We were warned in class how diplomatic snafus like this just may cost us jobs someday. So, I need to craft a proper diplomatic apology/thank you. The only thing that really pisses me off about stuff like this is why the hell did he sit and let it stew for 2 friggin' weeks?

Next Issue...The Apology

A few quotes from the past about my smile:

"When you stop smiling, Mark, there is something cosmically wrong with the universe." - An old friend in university.

"I love this boy! He just doesn't stop smiling! When things are getting too tough here, all I've got to do is look at his smile!" - A rather attractive fellow trainee when I started training with the company in Japan.

"Are you OK, Mark? This is the first time I've ever seen you not smiling." - One of my instructors at NAIT, when I was having a REALLY bad day.

"I've never seen you smile before. Stop it. You're scaring me." - One of the department heads at IGA.

And now, I'm wondering how to reply to something. A few weeks back, I e-mailed a radio announcer who spent some time in Japan about how he got there and how it was. He answered my questions for me. Now, three weeks later, this announcer has e-mailed me again, all pissed off that I never wrote back to thank him for his answers.

Damn. He must have worked for AEON.

Next Issue...Lord of the Unknown Tower

Nothing witty to say tonight, folks! Just the latest column, Head Office Boys:

"Remember that classic episode of The Flintstones? Fred was tired of always being bossed around by Mr. Slate. So, one day, Fred was complaining about this to the Great Gazoo, and Gazoo snapped his fingers and said, “OK, Fred, you and Mr. Slate have now switched places. You are now the boss!” Well, while spending his first day as boss, Fred thought it was great. He bossed around Mr. Slate and made Mr. Slate feel as miserable as can be. But then, Fred discovered that the boss has to answer to an even more powerful boss, and that boss was even meaner than Mr. Slate ever was. Fred asked the Great Gazoo to switch things back, and Gazoo did. Fred learned a very important lesson that day about the business world: shit runs downhill."

Read it all, baby!

Next Issue...The Time

Today, I received what I'm sure is the greatest piece of toy-related comic book art EVER.

So, I'm reading the latest issue of ToyFare, #85. In it, they're doing a huge report on girls toys of the 1980s, mainly because there's been a huge demand for it. Yeah, they've done just about every story on He-Man, G.I. Joe, and Transformers, but people are starting to ask about Jem, She-Ra, and Strawberry Shortcake. Anyway, I'm leafing through it, and what image do they have kicking off this report?

We've got She-Ra, Rainbow Bright, and Strawberry Shortcake. All grown up, around mid-20s or so, built like brickhouses, and doing a Coyote Ugly-style dance on a bar top. The caption reads, "She-Ra, Rainbow Bright, and Strawberry Shortcake growed up right."

How can I describe my reaction to this image? Remember that episode of Futurama where Fry checks up on his old bank account? Remember when he was told that, thanks to 1000 years of interest, his 93-cent balance had grown into $4.7 billion? Remember how he started foaming at the mouth and doing ecstatic convulsions on the floor?

Well, that was me doing that on the floor of Chapters when I first saw that image. Dude, it's like my earliest sexual fantasy come to 4-colour life. I've got to e-mail ToyFare a very complimentary note about it. I wonder if they're going to release it as a poster. I'd even settle for one of those really tiny posters they always slipped in their early issues. I'm sure I'm not the only child of the 1980s who thought that image was the most brilliant piece of artwork ever.

My God. They're so HOT! "Growed up right," indeed.

Yeah, that was one of the highlights of my day in the city. I finally got around to seeing Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I'll write up a full review for the website tomorrow. The cool thing was I saw it at the South Edmonton Common movie theatre. I'd never been there before.

The South Edmonton Common movie theatre made headlines when it first opened in Edmonton, what, in 1998 or so. It was the first movie theatre of its kind in Edmonton. 16 screens, stadium seating (that's where the seats are arranged like the seats in a stadium), curved screens, all that good stuff. There's still very little that's been bulit around it. It's like this massive cathedral of film rising out of the prarie. I stepped inside and was in awe of the place. Ever since about high school or so, I've been sketching on the back of napkins what my "ultimate movie theatre" would look like. South Edmonton Common is the one that's come closest. Only thing is my ultimate theatre, rather than haivng 15+ screens, will have only 2 screens; two FRIGGIN' HUGE screens.

And the seats recline. Needless to say, I was impressed.

And I finally bought the score for The Matrix, mainly because I can use it this fall in the studio. It's actually pretty good; filled with lots of prophetic trumpets and fanfares. I'll be listening to it quite a bit tomorrow as I write my review and latest column and send out the latest News from Markworld and all that good stuff.

Oh, and I have to mention the weird dream I had last night. Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer dreamt of the most brilliant invention ever but he woke up before he could see what it was? It was kind of like that. Only I was reading the most brilliant novel ever written. I was nearing the end of the book. And darn it, I can't remember what it was about. Only that it ended in a tragic suicide. And Christina Ricci was one the cover. Strange.

Oh, well. I finally broke down and bought the 2-disc special edition of The Lion King today. Let's see if I can watch it.

Next Issue...Too Much Stuff

Today, my memory wandered back to my old junior high English teacher, Mr. Twerdoclib.  He was a great teacher, but an arrogant prick.  I learned a lot from him. 

Every 3 months or so, at a time I would identify in junior high and university as midterm/final exam time, he would make us go through this exercise called the "superior good copy."  We the students were able to sift through our past three months of essays, short stories, and whatever else we may have written, and pick one that we really, really liked.  And then, we got to do another draft.  Re-write it, incorporating his comments and anything else we thought would make it better.

He first explained this concept to us using his beloved "writing process" that he beat into our minds.  He pointed to the final step, Sharing and Publishing; the final part where you're satisfied with it and you show it to everyone you know.  "When you handed it in to me," he said, "It was at this step."  Then, he went all the way back to step 2 of the process, Writing; the step I now call the first draft.  "Now, it's all the way back here.  You can start over." 

There was really only one rule when it came to doing a Superior Good Copy:  it must be rewritten!  We couldn't hand the same thing in again.  To do so would instantly get us a 0.  First time we did this, my rival Colleen Ozee did it.  Not only did she get a 0, she got one of Mr. Twerdoclib's trademark public humiliations in front of the class.   

I won't lie.  I always looked forward to it.  It was kind of fun.

But anyway, why was I thinking of this today?  As I'm looking through my past 5 years worth of columns, I'm looking at a few and thinking, "I'd like to do a superior good copy of this."  So I think I will.

Next Issue...The Return of the Ozee

Hee hee!  I loved this article in this morning's Edmonton Journal.  It was a quick interview with Michael Moore.  Moore said that he always had trouble getting funding for his films, but now that Fahrenheit 9/11 has made $100 million, he's having no problem whatsoever getting funding for his next film. 

Moore's next documentary is called Sicko, and is going to take a look at the American health care system.  The inspiration for this film came from Moore's old TV show The Awful Truth.  In an Awful Truth segment, Moore was contacted by a man who's health insurance provider wouldn't pay for an organ transplant he needed to live.  So, Moore showed up at the front door of this insurance provider and held a funeral for this man.  The insurance provider was then shamed into paying for the transplant. 

And here's a little tidbit of movie news today.  Pierce Brosnan has announced that he's retiring from the role of James Bond.  The rumoured actors up to play Bond next are Hugh Grant, Jude Law, and Hugh Jackman. 

And I've got to talk about something I read yesterday.  I'm currently trying to finish reading a book called The Martians by Kim Stanley Robinson.  It's a collection of short stories about people who live on Mars in the future.  I hadn't picked it up in a few months.  That's the great thing about reading a short story collection:  it's really easy to get back into when you've neglected it for a while. 

Anyway, yesterday's story was called Sexual Dimorphism.  It was rather unusual.  It's about this scientist, and the love is slowly draining out of his marriage.  One night, when he finally discovers that his wife is having an affair, he and his wife get into a huge argument.  But, something in the scientist's brain misfires, and he winds up giving his wife a black eye.  So, the entire story is about him trying to resolve his guilt about what he did, and along the way, some philisophical observations are made about the differences between men and women, despite all the advances made towards equality some 200 years in the future.

I just have to mention this because it was rather different to find in a collection of sci-fi short stories.  It was utterly fascinating, but somewhat off-putting because of its subject matter.  And it's ending.  It felt rather new-agey and it was rather depressing.

OK, I'll spoil the ending.  Ultimatlely, the scientist can't resolve his guilt, so he kills himself.  How does he kill himself?  He goes swimming with the dolphins and he lets them drag him out to sea.  Yeah, the scientist's research has to do with dolphin DNA and his hobby is swimming, so there's lots of swimmer/sea life/water symbols going on. 

It was an amazing story, but off-putting.  Like Milhouse said on the Simpsons:  "I dare not watch, yet I dare not look away."

Next Issue...Dry Hands Man 

Tonight's obsession:  the superhero alter-egos of Archie characters.

I remember reading a few of these Archie stories when I was a kid.  Archie, Jughead, and Betty had superpowers and fought crime; mainly a superpowered Reggie.  According to the little tiny bit I found online, these characters originated back in the 1960s, when superhero comics were hot, hot, hot again and Archie Comics tried to cash in. 

So, it goes like this.  While doing some research in the school library, Archie discovered the secret of the Pureheart factor.  Using this, he became the superhero Pureheart the Powerful.  Soon, Betty also discovered upon this to become SuperTeen, and Jughead used it to become Captain Hero.  How Reggie got his powers wasn't explained, but I remember his supervillain identity was Evilheart. 

I do remember spying some comics in comic stores back when I was in university.  In the mid-90s, Archie Comics revisited these characters in a special mini-series.  That was also when they decided to finally give Veronica a supervillain identity.  She joined Evilheart as the scheming Miss Vanity. 

I think I'll add these characters to my list of "custom action figures I hope to try to make someday."

And now, to watch the Blade III teaser.

Next Issue...Pureheart vs. Blade 

OK, folks, first things first.  Got the latest column up.  As promised, we have An Ode to the Narc:

"Let’s hear it for the narc! The term comes from “narcotics officer,” those dedicated police officers who fought the war on drugs by infiltrating the drug rings to bring them down from the inside. It has since grown to apply to just about any law enforcement professional who’s drunk on their 2 cents worth of power. They are the ones who think zero tolerance is too tolerant. They’re the ones who’ll lock you up and throw away the key for the most minor of infractions. They don’t speak softly, but they carry a big stick…and a big gun, a big gun of pepper spray, all kinds of weapons. As long as they’re big. I recently came face-to-face with a narc and I tell ya, it was all I could do to keep from laughing my ass off. "

How did I come face to face with such a person?  Click here to find out!

Tonight, before bed, I'm trying to do a little reading up on Eric Wilson.  Who else read his books when they were younger.  Wilson started writing the Tom Austen mysteries in the late-1980s.  Tom Austen was dubbed "Canada's answer to the Hardy Boys."  Austen, the son of a Winnepeg cop, would occastionally get embroiled in some kind of a crime at a famous Canadian landmark and use his amateur detective skills (learned from his dad and his love of Hardy Boys books) to solve the crime.  Sometimes, he was joined by his teenage sister Liz.  (In fact, several books in the series star Liz on her own.)  My brother was the bigger fan and I always just borrowed the books from him.  The only book I bought for myself was Code Red at the Supermall, because it takes place at West Edmonton Mall.  The plot was simple enough:  the Austen family is on vacation at West Edmonton Mall when a terrorist strikes and begins planting bombs all over the place.  Naturally, it's up to Tom, Liz, and Tom's best friend Dietmar Oban to unmask the identity of this mad bomber. 

I stumbled upon Eric Wilson's official site.  The last Tom and Liz Austen mystery came out in Y2K, starred Liz on her own, and had something to do with Emily Carr.  Might be worth seeking out.

Next Issue...A Mark Cappis Mystery

The niece and nephew were visiting all last week.  Last night, to keep them appeased, my sister (not their mother, but also visiting) stuck Mulan in the VCR.  It was the first time I had seen Mulan since it first came out six years ago.  I still think that it is Disney's all-time most bizzare choice for an animated musical.  It's a film that's just dying to be remade - as a live-action, Braveheart/Gladiator-style historical epic.  Get that girl who was in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to play Mulan and we're on our way.

It came out at a strange time in my life.  Mr. Anderson had taught me that it was OK for a young man to be "into" animation, and thus Disney animated films.  I was first in line for Disney's re-release of The Little Mermaid six months earlier and was first in line for Mulan.  The soundtrack for Mulan is the first (and, to date, only) Disney animated soundtrack I bought.  Now, my interest in Disney animation is passing to non-existent, and Mr. Anderson would sooner spit on Mickey Mouse than play his Best of Disney CD again.  Congradulations, Disney, for making two ardent fans turn on you!  It's amazing what just a few crappy films can do.  That, and learning the truth about how your corporation works. 

Anyway, I should sit and write a column.  I've got lots of fodder simply from yesterday. 

- My sister took the niece and nephew tubing down the ol' Pembina River.  But, she wanted to launch at this distant beach that we'd only heard rumours about.  We found this deserted beach, and I got to see Entwistle's trademark bridges over the Pembina from a completely new angle - the bottom.  Right in my own backyard, and territory and I had never seen before.

- In order to get to this beach, we had to venture through the Evansburg Cemetary.  I think it's safe to say that I'm not the only one in the world who feels a little spooked when he's strolling through a graveyard.  Even when I was playing Pokemon: Sapphire Edition.  There's this part in the game where you have to go to Mount Pyre, the pokemon cemetary.  You talk to people to try to find what you're looking for, and they tell you how they're mourning for their dead pikachu.  Very surreal.  But, the creepiest cemetaries come from my childhood.  Dad has alway been a history buff, and that tended to turn him into an amateur archeologist on our summer vacations.  When I was 10 years old, he'd occasionally drag us to these deserted cemetaries in the middle of nowhere that hadn't been maintained since the 1940s.  You know, the kind of cemetary where the graves are marked with faded wooden crosses that simply say, "Boone.  1812 - 1876."  Those had to be the creepiest graveyards of all.

But no, I think this week's column will be about that beloved of police officer, the narc.  You know, those who are drunk on their two cents worth of power.  What inspired this?  Well, my sister was given the boot from Pembina River Provincial Park for having...one beer.  After an unreasonable search and seizure of our cooler, the narc determined that we had four beers, enough to get my sister booted from the park.  Even the vacationing Edmonton Police constable at the picnic site next to us said, "Dude, that narc's gotta just chill." 

Anyway, I should get to work writing it.  I think I'll pop in my Mulan soundtrack, just for old times sake....

Next Issue...And Ode to the Narcs

Star Wars Episode III:  Revenge of the Sith
 
Let the debate begin.

Next Issue...First in Line

Well, I've got even more sad movie news to pass along today.  Jerry Goldsmith has passed away.  Goldsmith was one of the best composers in Hollywood, having written such classic movie scores as Planet of the Apes, Alien, Poletergeist, Gremlins (a personal favourite), Supergirl, the Rambo movies, and dozens of others.  He won an Oscar for the 1974 horror film The Omen. 

And, as all the Hollywood obituaries are saying, perhaps his best-known theme was the main theme he wrote for Star Trek: The Motion Picture.  He revisited the theme in four of the sequels (#5, 8, 9, 10) and the main theme was recycled as the theme for Star Trek: The Next Generation.  He also wrote the theme for Star Trek: Voyager, which won him one of his four Emmys. 

And even more sad movie news.  As we know, Pixar parted with Disney earlier this year and has been looking for a new movie studio to partner with ever since.  Well, after negotiating with all the big ones, it looks like Pixar has finally settled on...Disney.  That's right, they're going back to the abusive husband. 

Next Issue...Mourning

I'm writing a secret code.  Just because I can.  Some day, I'm going to write a column about the joys of math, and there'll be an encoded message in it.  Watch for it!

I'm still lamenting that I haven't bought any new DVDs in a long time.  I have a job now.  I still don't know why I haven't splurged on several dozen discs.  I know that the final episode of Justice League finally came out last week, so I've got to get that.  Should seek out that boxed set of The Lord of the Rings.  And maybe I'll finally break and get Disney's 2-disc special edition of The Lion King.

Next week.  After payday.

Next Issue...Encoded

So, lots of entertainment news I wanna recap.  First, the one that all of Hollywood has been buzzing about since Friday:  two cast members of CSI have been fired for wanting more money.  This upsets me because these two played my two favourite characters.  There are conflicting reports over how it went down, and this is how I've pieced it together:
 
So, these two, they've been on the show since the beginning and their roles have expanded quite a bit over the years.  Now, going into their fifth season, they figured they were due for a raise.  They called up the network saying, "Hey!  We'd like to re-negotiate our contracts," and the network said, "No."  So, our stars decided to not show up for the first day of filming; quite a common practice, I understand.  When they didn't show up, the network called them and said, "Fuck you.  You're fired."  Seems rather cold on the side of the network, I believe.
 
Anyway, got even more news for you.  Producer Don Muprhy, who owns the movies rights to The Transformers, tells us that he'll be making a big announcement about his live-action Transformers movie this Saturday at the San Diego Comic-Con.  Rumor is this big announcement is that they've finally signed a deal with a movie studio to get this made, and the studio is Dreamworks. 
 
Speculation also says that they'll be announcing Robert Zemeckis as the director.  Zemeckis, of course, made Forrest Gump, Contact, Cast Away, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and the Back to the Future trilogy.  I think Zemeckis is a good choice.  He's all about technical innovation, so we know that he'd be pushing the envelop to make sure the Autobots and Decepticons look real.  If you want to see technical innovation, then download the trailer for his next film, The Polar Express, which comes out this Christmas.  When star Tom Hanks showed up for the first day of filming, Zemeckis said, "OK, put on this motion capture suit and stand in front of that blue screen.  I'll put in everything else with computers."  And everything has been put in with computers.  The CGI Tom Hanks looks rather creepy.  Most are regarding this as an animated film. 
 
Anyway, all or none of this will be confirmed with the "big announcement" on Saturday.
 
And one little piece of movie news I want to bring up.  It looks like AOL/Time-Warner is about to buy movie studio MGM.  AOL/Time-Warner already owns Warner Brothers and New Line.  So why do they want MGM?  Three little letters:  DVD.  It's a widely known fact that MGM boasts one of the largest film libraries of any movie studio, including the James Bond films, the Pink Panther comedies, and those infamous MGM musicals.  With DVD getting ever bigger every day, and the next gerenation of DVD poised to hit the market any day, AOL/Time-Warner wants the MGM catalogue.  AOL/Time-Warner isn't the only one.  Sony Entertianment (who owns Columbia Pictures and Tri-Star) are also bidding on MGM. 
 
Next Issue...Small Announcement

Happy New Week!  As always, I'm celebrating in the traditional way by posting this week's column.  This week we've got Lego Rant:
 
"I played with Lego when I was a kid. I’m sure we all did. It was always a source of envy between my brother and me. Even though I was the boy genius with a wall full of honour roll awards, it was my brother who could get his hands into the Lego bucket and just build. He could always make the best aircraft. Airplanes, helicopters, those were his domain when it came to Lego. But me? My Lego creations sucked. It seemed like all I could make were bigger blocks. Slap some wheels on a bigger block, and there! I made a car. Slap some wings on. Now it’s an airplane. Make a really, really big block, leave some gaps for doors and windows, and I could make a house. But generally, my Lego creations sucked. "
 
Read it all...if you dare!
 
And just because I was ranting about it yesterday, here's the list of all of ToyFare's mail away exclusive Star Trek figures.  These were all made by Playmates Toys when they had the license, so these were all available in 1998 -1999. 
 
Tapesty II Picard - Remember the classic TNG episode Tapestry?  That's the one where Q gives Picard the chance to go back in time and do things differently, so Picard wouldn't need an artificial heart.  Near the end of the episode, when Picard gets sent back to the future, Picard finds that, in this future, he is just a lowly Lieutenant who carries reports around the ship.  Well, this figure is lowly Lieutenant Picard.  He's got the blue uniform that he sported.  He comes with a phaser.
 
Translucent Identity Crisis Geordi - Remember the classic TNG episode Identity Crisis?  Geordi is infected with alien DNA that turns him into a funky alien that could turn invisible.  Well, this is Geordi transformed into the funky alien.  This figure is made out of translucent plastic to duplicate the invisiblity.  He comes with the Starfleet action base and the specially modified flashlight that makes him visible.
 
Spock in Environmental Suit - Remember the classic original series episode The Tholian Web?  While exploring the abandoned starship Defiant, Kirk, Spock and the gang had to walk around the Defiant in environmental suits because life support was malfunctioning.  This is Spock in his environmental suit.  He comes with a removable helmet, a tricorder, and the Starfleet action base.
 
Transporter Effects Tasha Yar - The transporter effects figures were made out of a translucent plastic from the chest down so it would look like they were beaming down.  ToyFare was the only place to get Tasha Yar in mid-beam.  She comes with her Starfleet action base and a phaser.
 
Goodfella Captain Kirk - Remember the classic original series episode A Piece of the Action?  This is where the Enterprise goes to a planet that patterned itself after Chicago mobs of the 1920s.  So, to blend in, Captain Kirk donned a three-piece pinstripe suit and set himself up as a wiseguy.  This is Kirk in his pinstripe suit.  He comes with a communicator and a Starfleet action base.  This one is still up for grabs at the Wizard Universe store.
 
Seven of Nine in her purple catsuit - In her first season, Seven wore a silver catsuit.  In her next season, she tended to alternate between blue, brown, and purple suits.  This was Seven in her purple suit.  My favourite Star Trek Toys site isn't listing what she comes with, but I'm certain that a Starfleet action base is a given.
 
Next Issue...Get me Kirk!