Just forget the words and sing along

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Dude, I just watched The Mask of Zorro on TV. First time I'd seen it since I saw it in the theatre...oh...6 years ago. God, Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot! This is now my goal; my life's quest to be as rich and powerful as Michael Douglas. I mean, he saw the Mask of Zorro and said to himself, "Dude! I gotta meet her." He sent out his agents to get his phone number, they got it, Douglas and Zeta-Jones met and now...BOOM! They're in the throes of happily ever after. So, if being rich and powerful can hook up a wrinkled old man with Catherine Zeta-Jones, just think about what it can do for a chubby little troll like myself.

Anywho, latest column's up! This week's: I, Robot:

"I just got a job. I don’t know why, but employment always gives me a twinge of sadness. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’ll be easy work. I’m a produce clerk in a grocery store, meaning I’ll have to make sure the lettuce is nice and fresh and that there are enough peaches and bananas on the shelves. But still, I’m sad. I don’t think people take enough time these days to realize what having a job means. At least, to me, getting a job means losing your independence. No longer can you sleep as late as you want and do whatever you feel like that day. Now your day is given up in servitude to the man. Or, even worse, the company. "

Read it all right here!

Next Issue...My First Day in Produce

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